My Story
This post is just to introduce myself mainly. I will probably post a lot some weeks, and not at all on others so just bear with me! My posts will mainly look at how a certain issue has affected me, and any advice I have for others. I do not pretend to be an expert, medically, phsycologically or otherwise. I am just a girl who has been there.
My story (full story here): I was raped (or "forcibly penetrated" as some people call it, but I will always view it as rape) at a scout camp. I was 12. I didn't tell anyone for two years, until I finally reported it to the police. I was taken out of school for a day to make a report on video in a safe-house. The boy was arrested and charged but the case never made it through the crown prosecution service.
I went through 1 year of denial and numbness, when I lost quite a bit of weight without knowing why. I wasn't anorexic and I didn't purposefully restrict my diet, I think I was just stressed and nervous all the time, and started exercising to deal with it. I didn't know why I was depressed and didn't want to think about that part of my mind. When I started thinking about the attack again, sometime around my 13th, I started getting flashbacks at night. These got worse and worse and, as a kid on my own I had no idea what to do. When I was 14 I worked out that there were ways I could control my flashbacks, through selfharm. Not that I knew what it was called at the time.
I am now in counselling and have a few really good friends who have always been there for me. I only started counselling a few weeks ago, after being on a waiting list for 6 months. I find that counselling has already helped me a lot and I would advise any survivor who is having problems to use these services. They really can help.
To all survivors: I know how hard it is to tell a secret you have hidden for years, and felt ashamed or embarrassed by. But please, please if you haven't already, tell someone. If there is anyone you can trust to tell it will take some of the burden off your shoulders. If I had told someone what happened to me at the time or sooner after, 2 of the most lonely years of my life would have been a lot easier. Tell a trusted teacher, your friends mom or your best friend. Tell me in a private comment. Ring a rape support line and tell them.
But whatever you do, please don't do it alone.
Peace and hope to all xxx
My story (full story here): I was raped (or "forcibly penetrated" as some people call it, but I will always view it as rape) at a scout camp. I was 12. I didn't tell anyone for two years, until I finally reported it to the police. I was taken out of school for a day to make a report on video in a safe-house. The boy was arrested and charged but the case never made it through the crown prosecution service.
I went through 1 year of denial and numbness, when I lost quite a bit of weight without knowing why. I wasn't anorexic and I didn't purposefully restrict my diet, I think I was just stressed and nervous all the time, and started exercising to deal with it. I didn't know why I was depressed and didn't want to think about that part of my mind. When I started thinking about the attack again, sometime around my 13th, I started getting flashbacks at night. These got worse and worse and, as a kid on my own I had no idea what to do. When I was 14 I worked out that there were ways I could control my flashbacks, through selfharm. Not that I knew what it was called at the time.
I am now in counselling and have a few really good friends who have always been there for me. I only started counselling a few weeks ago, after being on a waiting list for 6 months. I find that counselling has already helped me a lot and I would advise any survivor who is having problems to use these services. They really can help.
To all survivors: I know how hard it is to tell a secret you have hidden for years, and felt ashamed or embarrassed by. But please, please if you haven't already, tell someone. If there is anyone you can trust to tell it will take some of the burden off your shoulders. If I had told someone what happened to me at the time or sooner after, 2 of the most lonely years of my life would have been a lot easier. Tell a trusted teacher, your friends mom or your best friend. Tell me in a private comment. Ring a rape support line and tell them.
But whatever you do, please don't do it alone.
Peace and hope to all xxx
posted by firestarter at 4:52 PM
1 Comments:
Thank you for having the courage to speak out and to provide others with much needed hope. Our justice system makes it very difficult for victims and their family members to speak out the entire process can be so grueling. You are providing much needed hope and inspiration for all of us. Thank you!
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