Courage in Patience, a story of hope for those who have endured abuse
Hi, my name is Beth Fehlbaum, and my debut novel, Courage in Patience, is being published by Kunati Books in September.
Courage in Patience is the story of Ashley Nicole Asher, 14, who is taken from her mother and stepfather after she makes an outcry to her English teacher. Ashley's stepfather, Charlie, has abused her since age 8, and it is only after a vicious sexual assault when her mom is off on a pizza run that Ashley breaks down.
Courage in Patience is more than a story of sexual abuse-- it is, in fact, a story of HOPE. And isn't hope what recovery is all about? I wrote this the other day. I hope you like it:
Wearing Hope
I have a shirt that has the word "hope" spelled out in beaded letters, right across the chest. I wore it to therapy once, and my doctor asked me if I knew what the opposite of "fear" is. I shook my head "no," and he told me, "It's right there on your shirt. It's hope."
I think about what he said, every time I wear that shirt. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to be covered up in hope, just by pulling a shirt over your head?
I wear that shirt on standardized test days-- I'm a teacher of English language learners who are held to the same standards as native speakers-- and I figure that, along with my ancient shamrock-patterned socks for good luck, wearing a billboard of optimism can't hurt a bit. Might even help. But the importance of the lifeblood that is "hope" cannot be trivialized.
To anyone, but poignantly to a person on the journey of recovery from trauma like childhood sexual abuse, "hope" is indeed the opposite of fear. When I reflect back on those first few months of recovery, I realize now that they were a combination of numbing disbelief and indescribable agony. I must have had hope when I walked through the door of my therapist's office for the first time, but I would be lying if I told you that I felt it at the time.
Hopelessness. Wrenching, suicidal-thoughts-inducing, pain-so-horrible-that-I-was-surprised-when-the-sun-rose-each-day.. hopelessness.
Maybe these aren't the words to share with someone just contemplating the journey to the TRUTH; just getting up the nerve to open the yellow pages to the section that starts with these five letters: P-S-Y-C-H. But I think it's vital that people just embarking on their journey be aware that even when every cell, every fiber of your being is informing you otherwise, Hope is still there. It never leaves. It is a constant, a shadow, of everyone on the journey to recovery from sexual abuse.
Even when it feels you are most alone, you're not. Remember that there are literallly millions of other people who have felt the way you are feeling at the beginning of your journey as well as all along the way. And besides all of us… there's Hope.
(It's me again)- I look forward to being an active contributor to Re-model 4 Life. I think Marcella has done an awesome thing, making such a positive site available to those of us-- and those who love us- who are on the journey to wholeness.
If you'd like to talk to me about my novel, or if you have a blog site and you would be willing to be a host for me on my Virtual Blog Tour that will start in March, please e-mail me at beth@bethfehlbaum.com
Thanks!
Beth Fehlbaum is the author of the forthcoming novel, Courage in Patience-- a story of hope for those who have endured abuse, from Kunati Books, ISBN # 978-1-60164-156-4 (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble sites for pre-order starting in February)
http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
http://www.bethfehlbaum.com
http://www.kunati.com
Courage in Patience is the story of Ashley Nicole Asher, 14, who is taken from her mother and stepfather after she makes an outcry to her English teacher. Ashley's stepfather, Charlie, has abused her since age 8, and it is only after a vicious sexual assault when her mom is off on a pizza run that Ashley breaks down.
Courage in Patience is more than a story of sexual abuse-- it is, in fact, a story of HOPE. And isn't hope what recovery is all about? I wrote this the other day. I hope you like it:
Wearing Hope
I have a shirt that has the word "hope" spelled out in beaded letters, right across the chest. I wore it to therapy once, and my doctor asked me if I knew what the opposite of "fear" is. I shook my head "no," and he told me, "It's right there on your shirt. It's hope."
I think about what he said, every time I wear that shirt. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to be covered up in hope, just by pulling a shirt over your head?
I wear that shirt on standardized test days-- I'm a teacher of English language learners who are held to the same standards as native speakers-- and I figure that, along with my ancient shamrock-patterned socks for good luck, wearing a billboard of optimism can't hurt a bit. Might even help. But the importance of the lifeblood that is "hope" cannot be trivialized.
To anyone, but poignantly to a person on the journey of recovery from trauma like childhood sexual abuse, "hope" is indeed the opposite of fear. When I reflect back on those first few months of recovery, I realize now that they were a combination of numbing disbelief and indescribable agony. I must have had hope when I walked through the door of my therapist's office for the first time, but I would be lying if I told you that I felt it at the time.
Hopelessness. Wrenching, suicidal-thoughts-inducing, pain-so-horrible-that-I-was-surprised-when-the-sun-rose-each-day.. hopelessness.
Maybe these aren't the words to share with someone just contemplating the journey to the TRUTH; just getting up the nerve to open the yellow pages to the section that starts with these five letters: P-S-Y-C-H. But I think it's vital that people just embarking on their journey be aware that even when every cell, every fiber of your being is informing you otherwise, Hope is still there. It never leaves. It is a constant, a shadow, of everyone on the journey to recovery from sexual abuse.
Even when it feels you are most alone, you're not. Remember that there are literallly millions of other people who have felt the way you are feeling at the beginning of your journey as well as all along the way. And besides all of us… there's Hope.
(It's me again)- I look forward to being an active contributor to Re-model 4 Life. I think Marcella has done an awesome thing, making such a positive site available to those of us-- and those who love us- who are on the journey to wholeness.
If you'd like to talk to me about my novel, or if you have a blog site and you would be willing to be a host for me on my Virtual Blog Tour that will start in March, please e-mail me at beth@bethfehlbaum.com
Thanks!
Beth Fehlbaum is the author of the forthcoming novel, Courage in Patience-- a story of hope for those who have endured abuse, from Kunati Books, ISBN # 978-1-60164-156-4 (available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble sites for pre-order starting in February)
http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
http://www.bethfehlbaum.com
http://www.kunati.com
posted by Beth Fehlbaum, Author at 8:33 AM
2 Comments:
I will definitely be ordering this book!
I just started a blob called "A Place to Talk About Rape" and this is the first blog I have linked to so far.
I am so glad I found this site, I will be back!!! I have several blogs, here is the direct link to this one:
http://rapesexualabuse.blogspot.com/
Wow, thanks, Barbara! I'll check out your site, too!
Beth Fehlbaum
Author, Courage in Patience
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